Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Get off My Bandwagon



At every baseball game I go to, and it could be anywhere, there's always some asshole who wants to start a conversation about the Red Sox or Yankees. Now whenever I am forced to talk to these people, I often find out they aren't from Boston or New York. Like LeBron James with his Yankee hat. He is from Ohio, plays basketball in Cleveland and wears a Yankee hat to the Indians Yankees NLCS game. LeBron has no right to root for the Yankees. He's a front runner. Take the many kids you find at GW walking around in North Carolina gear.

If you aren't from somewhere, don't root for the teams from there. Now there are some exceptions which I have outlined below, but if you are from Long Island and root for UNC because you like the powder blue uniforms or Manchester United because you saw them on ESPN once get a life. When your team wins don't act like you've won something. People who feel good after picking the best team in a league and then feel satisfied after seeing that team win should be banned from sports viewing.



Exceptions for Sports Dual Citizenship

Family Ties- I don't support it, but I'll allow it. "My dad is a big fan of the...." I get it, you were indoctrinated. It's not your fault. Just like it's not Matt Damon's fault in Good Will Hunting.

Transient Childhood- You bounced around a lot as a kid and never really had a home. So you formed a bond with the teams from a city to which you no longer have ties. Another possible case is your parents split and lived in different cities, giving you a skewed set of teams.

Relocation/Statute of Limitations- You have moved into a new city have lived there for a number of years, no less than 5, and have a new conception of where "home" is and have adopted a new crew. If you live somewhere and that local team which you are not a fan of is on tv a lot you can get loyal observer status. It's a form of sports fan purgatory before the statute of limitations expires and you can become a full fledged fan.

Rural area- You don't have a main major city you live near so you root for teams from a variety of surrounding areas.

Missing major sports- Your city is a market that does not have teams from all of the NBA NFL MLB and NHL and you adopt a team from another market. For example you are from Portland and you root for the San Francisco Giants.



Pathetic Excuses

"I've just always liked them..." Yeah because they were good, and you have no balls to take on a team that isn't all rings

If your parent is a front runner, and that tradition goes down to you, you are still a front runner.

"I was a big fan of... growing up" Just because you liked a certain player growing up doesn't give you an excuse to hop on the team's bandwagon. You can be a fan of a player and not a team. You may notice that most of the scores of kids who were big fans of Ken Griffey Jr. from outside Seattle are no longer fans of the Mariners. And those that are, well they've endured enough years of subpar baseball that I'll give them a free pass.


Final Note: If you choose to root for a terrible team at random when they are still bad and follow them closely that's okay. You'll struggle enough to understand the value of winning and when your team wins you'll truly feel like you've won something.

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